Mary Darlene Helkenn

Mary Darlene (Boudreau) Helkenn believed things should be clean, organized, and well-loved. She practiced this belief with her gardening, her home, her family, and her cooking. It wasn't easy. Mary had an uphill battle living on a dairy farm and having seven children, but Mary was one tough lady and her home and family was always all of the above -- especially well-loved. Mary died on March 14, 2015 at the age of 83. It was the most perfect of spring days. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and the children she raised so well were gathered around her. A great day for tulips and a great day to go to Heaven. Mary Darlene Boudreau was born in Crandall, S.D. on February 1, 1932. In her earlier years she attended Thorp School but graduated from Logan High School where she was known to be "one great cheerleader" as remembered by classmate Junior Mann. During her school years, her and "the girls" were inseparable. Looking back on their school days, her classmate and life-long good friend Joy (Terveen) Hagen recalled, "We girls in our class stuck together, literally! A school play one time had triplets in it and Mary, Ona, and I were the triplets. We wore identical dresses. What fun!" Classmate Angie Wolf Bjorklund was younger than Mary in school, but remembers her having beautiful hair, "dimples to kill for," and a constant smile. These traits mixed with her sharp wit caught the eye of the young farmer down the road. Wayne Helkenn lived on his family farm and he and Mary would write letters back and forth. Wayne's letters to Mary were kept in a box in their farmhouse and have since been read by their children. Mary, however, must have had a way with words because her letters to Wayne were sealed up tight in a big envelope marked up with warnings to the person that dared think of opening it. On Oct. 8, 1950, Mary and Wayne were married and had seven children together. They celebrated their last anniversary together, their 60th, before Wayne passed away and Mary seemed amazed as she looked out at all of the family gathered. "I can't believe this all came from us," she remarked. Along with their seven children, Wayne and Mary's house was also home to many of their extended family. "Mom was a caretaker at heart. She watched over family, different neighbors and friends and took care of them. She didn't wait to be asked, but just was there if and when the need was." said her daughter, Julie. "Neighbors were an important part of Mom's life and she thought a lot of her close ones," her son Gerry stated. Back in the day of the "party-line" phone system, you got to know a lot more about your neighbors than you do today. If you weren't paying attention to the combination of "longs" and "shorts" you would find yourself on the other end of someone else's phone call. Mary knew that with a family as big as hers, you best be able to multitask. Baking and cooking for a houseful of seven kids and extended family members took up a good portion of her day. Mary's phone was attached to the wall like most everyone's was, but her cord was stretched out extra long. "She could reach most anywhere in her kitchen while talking on the phone," added Gerry. Saturdays were another day that required some multitasking and a little extra discipline. You see, on Saturdays, Wayne and Mary went dancing. They would go all over to the different dance halls to go dancing. On Saturdays you would find her bustling around the house getting the Saturday cleaning chores done with her special hair dryer attached to her. "We were in awe of that hair dryer!" her children Lynn and Roger remarked. While most had a hair dryer that required you to sit at a table and wait, Mary's hair dryer attached to a special belt around her waist with a hose that hooked to the cap drying her curled up hair. "Mom was a stickler for getting those Saturday chores done - no excuse was acceptable." her children remembered. In the earlier years she would send her daughter Debbie and Wayne's younger sister Patsy upstairs to vacuum dust off the hardwood floors. "Those two would turn the vacuum on, and the radio, and lay on the bed. Mom would give a holler up the stairs to see how they were doing and the answer would always be, "Yep, we're working on it."" Debbie remembered this occurrence as well. "We made sure we made all of the appropriate noises to give the pretense of hard work10 minutes in, there was mom yelling up the stairs that she knew we were laying down reading and we had better get busyHow did she do that?! She knows everything!" In another life, Mary would have made a good school principal. The ability to know everything was just one of Mary's many talents. She was a master of organization and record keeping. She honed those skills over the years when serving on the Fordham Township Board, serving on the local election boards or as a member of her local ladies' club, the Jolly Neighbors Club. She was eco-friendly before the idea of "renew, reuse, recycle" was trendy. "Mom could have given seminars on how to do those things properly. She had a system and a purpose when it came to throwing anything out or saving it and she often took a lot of grief from her family about it, but she did it anyway." said her daughter Julie. She also made excellent candies and jelly and her baked good always got rave reviews. Her son Roger remembers her white cake and apple pie being some of the best. Mary also loved to sew, most times with no pattern. Once she had a house full of children to care for, she repurposed this love of sewing into becoming a master craftsman of patching jeans (and in the Helkenn household, the patching business was booming). She was also skilled in the art of embroidery. Julie remembers one time her mom bought her a blue denim jacket that, in itself, was nothing special. However, by the time Mary finished embroidering an entire scene on the back of it, Julie said "it was the most spectacular jacket ever." In her later years when she was in assisted living and then the nursing home, her children had the comfort of knowing that she was still "Mom." Even when she was in the ICU, you could hear her comment to her children things like, "pull your sleeves down," "your pants are kind of long," and "what's that on your lip and what are you doing for it?" when she noticed one had a cold sore. Even though she ended her life suffering with Alzheimer's, she didn't let the disease control her. She never once lost her sense of humor or her wit. Once, when leaving the hospital, she spotted a sign across the room that said, "Life Support." She turned to her daughter and said, "Boy, I could sure use some of that right now." Mary had a way of parenting that didn't require her to say a thing, and sometimes she didn't even need to be present. Many conversations between her children include phrases like, "We'd better stop giggling; you know what Mom would say" or "If Mom were here right now she'd be saying" Now in her absence, this still holds true. One time when visiting her daughter Julie's house she noticed a sickly looking Christmas Cactus plant. Mary had a green thumb and could get just about anything to grow. "Why do you like to watch them suffer?" she asked. Julie, taken a little by surprise, answered with a smile, "Well I guess maybe I'm hardening them off -- you know, to make them strong. Suffering can make you stronger, right?" We can find comfort in hearing Mary assure us that it was time. "Why would you like to watch me suffer?" She was strong enough. "Funny how these memories bring up the same thoughts and emotions How strong and smart Mom was!" Debbie remarked. Mary leaves behind her children Bruce (and wife Linda), Gerry (and wife Annette), Debbie (and husband Brad), Roger (and wife Marcia), Mike (and wife Linda), Lynn (and husband Kevin), Julie (and husband Russell); 21 grandchildren, 21 great-grandchildren; siblings, Richard, Harold, and Berniece; and former sister-in-law and good friend Carol Boudreau. She joins in death her husband Wayne, brother Bernard, her parents, sister-in-law Patsy and brother-in-law Arlyn. A visitation will be held on Wednesday, March 18, 2015 from 5-7 PM at the Furness Funeral Home at Clark. Funeral services will be held Thursday, March 19, 2015 at 10:30 AM at the United Methodist Church at Clark. Interment will follow at the Rose Hill Cemetery at Clark. Memorials are requested to be sent to a charity of choice in memory of Mary. Funeral arrangements are with the Furness Funeral Home at Clark where there is an on-line registry at: www.furnessfuneralhome.com